A Personal Reflection
"This year I celebrated my 50th birthday and it was an occasion to celebrate the blessings in my life. Surrounded by family and friends I honored myself in this transition into a womanhood that I have always yearned for. While my life continues to be a work in progress, it is a life that I have dreamed of. It is a life that I have devoted myself to working towards and it is a life I am proud of. My journey into womanhood has been one of self-discovery, a journey of becoming; of becoming happy, of becoming confident, of becoming comfortable in my own skin. I love the line in Judith Duerk’s book: Circle of Stones: “I am finding that it takes a lot of time to be a woman.”
In 1993 I picked up a pamphlet that I had been saving for two years. I had just returned to Montreal from a stay in Nova Scotia where I went to look after my dying mother. It was a time of deep change for me. I realized that the only way that I wasn’t going to start to feel “old” was if I lived my life fully – if I lived each day the way I wanted to so that I would not have regret. In my life I had witnessed that unresolved regrets can prematurely age people. So, I picked up the phone and dialed the number on the pamphlet and began a journey that has spanned 17 years. I chose psychosynthesis as my path because it spoke to me immediately. Roberto Assagioli, the founder of psychosynthesis, wrote about exactly the challenge that I was facing. Here is an excerpt from my application from 1993:
I have been unable to reconcile my self-awareness with my continued unhealthy behavior (habits). Although over time this has increasingly improved, I have been protecting myself from this pain so tightly that I am loosing circulation in my life. My world has become small, intense and stressful; stressful from judging myself, comparing myself to who I should be, and yet being painfully unable to change.
For me, this process changed my life. Not everyone needs to have their life changed but if you resonate with some of what I felt, and how deeply I was stuck, there is an abundance of wonderful healing modalities out there – you just have to find the one that speaks to you.
So this journey has been about growth, it has been about discovering who I am, it has been about finding myself and loving what I have found. It really has been a journey about love.
Who am I? I am a woman who was very fortunate to come across a flyer in a bookstore that changed her life. I am a woman who learned that teaching even one person in a family to learn to live with less fear can change the world for children. I am a woman who has learned, and lived, that it is possible to change.
Seventeen years ago Roberto Assagioli set me off on my journey with just four simple words:
” from pain to peace”
Never give up believing that, if you need to, you too can make that journey. " - Libby March-2010
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